Do you fear change?

I’m talking about change that you actually want. Change that you crave. Change that you desire.

Change that you so desperately need.

Do you self-sabotage yourself from changing or becoming successful?

You probably don’t realize you’ve been doing this. I know, I didn’t.

This is something I’ve been pondering for the past few weeks.

In fact, I told my therapist a few weeks ago that all my life, every time I try to lose weight I start out by telling myself:

“You’ll never actually get to goal weight. You can lose some of the weight but you’re just not meant to be “thin.” It’s just not possible. You can never wear a bikini…You’ll always be well, fat.”

Right from the very beginning I’m self-sabotaging myself to fail. I have no idea why I do this to myself. This is something we are exploring more because there must be a reason behind it.

I want nothing more than to lose the weight and get to my ideal/goal size/weight. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

When it comes to anything else, I put my mind to it, work my ass off, and get what I want. Why then has this been so challenging?

I will lose a certain amount of weight and then fall back from the wagon. I can’t do that this time. I have to realize this lifestyle is just that, for LIFE!

I’ve always thought a diet, gym membership, diet pill, or some other ridiculous weight loss gimmick would change ME. Well, I finally realized this year that it won’t. I can count Weight Watchers Points til I’m blue in the face and sweat my ass off in the gym.

It’s not going to change my way of thinking. Eventually, the old ways will come back in a moment of weakness. That’s just how I’ve always dealt with things. Just like I have to work on my body and my eating, I must also work on my mind. That is why I chose to go through this therapy to uncover WHY I’m sabotaging myself and WHY I use food as a drug in the first place.

I’m far from having the answers but making progress each day . . .

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~