Can I really keep doing this for the rest of my life?
Do you ever stop yourself from starting something because in your mind you’ve already determined that you’ll fail?
I’ve been scared shitless to go “all-in” with my weight loss journey as of lately because I’ve lost faith and trust in myself. I can’t seem to go more than a day without finding a way to cheat the system or convince myself that a cheat meal is ok.
I’ll eat anything and everything I want over the weekend and then get back to business on Monday. I try to gain the system by then eating healthy for the next 5 days before I have to weigh in.
That is not a lifestyle change. That is crazy making behavior.
The scale has gone up 2 lbs in the past two weeks.
I’m frustrated. I can only be frustrated with myself. Sometimes I think, “Do I REALLY have to keep doing this for the rest of my life?”
I was not blessed with the type of body that can eat whatever I want. If I don’t have parameters in place, I gain weight and I gain it FAST.
It’s only 2 lbs now. If I stop all together, it’ll be 20 by the time Spring starts. I’m not exaggerating.
I knew I had to kick this nonsense in the ass fast. I started trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me lately.
I’ve been cooped up in this house just about every single day and weekend because of the frigid temps. It’s been like living in the Artic and I’m not trying to be outside! When you also work from home, it starts to feel like a prison. It literally felt like the walls were caving in on me.
Ahh. I was missing balance in my life. You know. That thing I’m always preaching that you HAVE to have in order to sustain an irresistible lifestyle.
This past weekend, the weather was perfect so we headed out for a daytrip. It felt so nice to get outdoors, explore a new place, get my blood flowing, and get in some steps. That’s what my soul craves. I love getting away from the office and the computer and enjoying time in nature. It feeds my soul. You can’t see Chuy in this pic but I’ll be posting a ton on his blog about our adventure.
Sometimes when we think we’re physically hungry, we’re not. It’s not our stomachs that are craving something, it’s our souls. If you don’t have balance in your life, it’s so easy to turn to food to cope with your emotions.
I’ve been so engrossed in my work and hibernating from the Artic blast, that I forgot to create white space and balance in my life.
That’s why I tell you all the time this journey is not just about weight. It’s about your mental health, your body, and your soul. If you only focus on weight loss, you quickly consider yourself a failure when you “fall of the wagon.” When doctors say just “move more and eat less”, I want to punch them in their face. If that was the case people like us that struggle with their weight wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. There’s SO much more that has to be unpacked during your journey.
This journey is personal and it’s about finding out who you really are and what you need in order to thrive and live an irresistible life.
Now, ask yourself, “What is my soul craving?” Once you find the answer, do more of that! Do lots of that!
Aimee, I’m soooo familiar with everything you’re saying here. But I have to tell you that I think you are gorgeous, no matter what the scales say. You’re an awesome mommy and a devoted dog mom. And you have a beautiful heart. All of that is so much more important that a number on a scale.
Thank you, Christina!