What is body image? How do we perceive our bodies? How does everyone else perceive our bodies? What makes any one opinion or perception better or worse than the other?
There really isn’t equal ground on this topic. It depends on how you grew up, your culture, your beliefs, and so many other factors. I believe pop culture and the media play a big role in how we perceive ourselves and how we THINK we should look.
I grew up as the “husky” kid. I was the victim of teasing and taunting from numerous little shits on the playground and the school bus. Thunder thighs, husky kid, 4 eyes, bla, bla, bla. As you get older, you learn not to worry about what people think and you don’t let it affect you as much (or so you think). However, as a child those cruel words stay with you, for ever. I’m 28 and my stomach still turns when I see a yellow school bus or pass by an elementary school.
I can’t even count how many times I said I would go on a “diet” or eat better tomorrow. Too many times to count or mention. If it exists, I’ve tried it. I even did the Richard Simmons Deal a Meal back in the summer after 7th grade!
Looking back on pictures, I don’t quite understand why I was bullied. Because kids are just mean, evil little trolls? Because they are insecure and pick on the weaker ones? I don’t know.
I was not huge. I was not obese. I was not ugly. Ok, maybe I went through the awkward, ugly duckling phase for a few years around 4th grade . . . even my own mother didn’t give out my school pics that year. LOL. Seriously, she says she forgot. What ever mom!!!!
Anyways, back to body image. It really does toy with our heads. We tend to think it’s worse than it is. However, there was a point in time where I gained a ton of weight in a short period of time. I’m talking almost 100 lbs over the summer after high school. My highest weight was around 250!!!!
I was in complete denial. I just stopped wearing all 30 pairs of my size 11/13 Express jeans because I wanted to. Right. I started wearing stretchy everything because it’s comfortable. Right. Who was I kidding?
I don’t share this pic with many. It’s embarrassing but this is me back during those 250 days. I’m putting myself out there for all my readers because I hope I can help or inspire someone else.
I never had health problems until I stopped having a period for 9 months straight. I wasn’t pregnant; I was diagnosed with fat ass syndrome. Seriously, this scared me.
That put me in check. And I’m still on the path of learning and changing a lifetime of bad habits. I have come to terms that I will always be this way but I can control it.
Think about it. An alcoholic can never stop thinking about not drinking. When we struggle with our weight, we have to focus each day and create a game plan on how we are going to deal with it. Otherwise, we end up back in the same place we started at. It really is an addiction. An addiction we cannot live without! We have to eat!
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I still see that 250 lb girl. The one that literally felt awful and miserable. Then other times I see a picture of myself and realize that I have cheekbones and a jaw line again and that I’m not that girl. I’m still not physically where I want to be but I’m getting there and I’m a hell of a lot closer than I have been in years.
I tried on my old size 12 jeans last night and holy cannoli they fit!!! Now, they won’t button but they fit. I know if I’m back in those size 12’s that I’m not the huge person that I still see in my head. I’m still a work in progress and that’s ok. I feel good and I know I’m making changes and that is what is important. Something I never got before. This isn’t temporary.
Body image is a tricky topic and one that we have to work at constantly. It’s about conditioning our psyche not our body. It’s about changing our thoughts as we change our eating habits. It’s about accepting our flaws and loving our perfections too.
It’s a constant journey and experience, but as is life, right?
“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”~Les Brown~
Hi! I’m Aimee with 2 E’s. I'm a confidence coach that empowers women to love themselves by breaking down body image issues, so that they can lose the emotional weight and gain the confidence to look and feel irresistible...at any size.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I like your layout!
Hello there, stopping from SITs to wish you a wonderful Friday. Nice blog. xxxMsBabyPlan
Here, here! You said it sister. I love this post. It couldn’t come at a more appropriate time for me. My story is so similar, right down to the childhood teasing, but I’ve only just recently started my decent from my highest weight.
I whole-heartedly agree that we all need to better condition our psyche. You see, I do want to lose weight to look better, fit in more clothes all the physical, but I also want to do it to be healthier, be more energetic and fit. I will feel better about myself because I haven’t let more poor habits get the best of me.
I say I’m so hard-working and determined, I can do anything I wanted, but then I look at my weight and think, then why can’t I get this under control?
In recent years, it made me angry, like you said, that I was bullied. I was bigger than most, sure, but not outrageously so. I had also developed at a young age, growing tall and sporting B cups by grade 5. In high school I was so much teased as ignored. I couldn’t even be considered pretty, beautiful because I was “fat.” But the part that made me really angry, was that despite it all, I did feel beautiful and I liked my generous curves. I didn’t understand why my peers couldn’t appreciate them. (For some reason, I never had a problem attracting the eyes of older men. I decided then and there that it took a level of maturity to appreciate a fuller spectrum of beauty. I still agree with that in some respect today.)
At this point, my curves have grown a little too generous and I have the stretch marks all over to prove it. I’m angry at myself for not taking care loving myself more and treating my body better. But it’s time to stop being angry at it all and start taking care of myself, for myself.
You should be applauded for all your hard work. You look great in that fabulous purple dress. You are beautiful and strong. You are an insipration.
P.S. Sorry for the long comment; I just got carried away by the topic and emotion.
I jumped by from the sits site. Cute blog. I love the pic of you rocking that purple dress. Its adorable!
I agree with your post – and its possible that I am not the best person to comment on this as I do shop in the single digits, but I think body image is a battle for all of us and mainly because of social conditioning. There are days that I love myself and days that I walk around feeling horrible. My logical brain tells me either way, its stupid. I am who I am. And on what counts, I rock. But yeah, that whole body image thing is a real bummer 99% of the time.
@ TheShoppingGirl – Our stories sound very similiar! I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you are saying!!!
Thank you for the reply and all the kind and motivating words. It means so much that you take so much time to read my work and leave such meaningful comments 🙂
@Kita – It doesn’t matter what size we are, we can struggle with body image and if we are “good” enough. Of course we are!!!!!!!
It’s time we change the damn social conditoning to what the real world is all about. Not this stupid non-realistic stuff we see in magazines. That let’s face it, we cannot even afford half of it. Really, $1000 for a pair of shoes? Ha! No way!
Do your thang and don’t apologize for it!
Mimi – I was tormented and harassed in school, and was actually underweight once the anorexia started.
Kids can sometimes just be cruel assholes.
And just as being overweight never leaves you mentally, anorexia is always present in the back of your mind.
You look damn fine, girl, and I hope you know it.
Sending love and positive self-esteem vibes to you and all your readers/commenters.
S
Glad you can understand StephanieC. Thanks for the heartfelt comment. xoxo
HAPPY SITS DAY!!! I think you are right about us all having body image issues. Mine started at 13- I was sooo unprepared for what “becoming a woman” would do to my body. Luckily I found some support and help after a 3 month obsession of eating almost nothing, logging the amount and calories of everything I DID eat, then I’d exercise enough to burn off all those calories. Finally I was at sheer exhaustion at the right point of meeting the guy that helped me love myself. I was so fortunate when I think of other ways it could have ended. You look beautiful in ALL the pics!!!! And crazy hot in the purple dress! 😉
I so struggle with body image. Even though I’m at my highest weight ever, when I do lose some weight, I can’t quite see myself as thinner. Sucks.
I think the key is learning to love yourself wherever you are, which is pretty much the hardest thing in the world. At the same time, you have to love yourself enough to make the changes you need to make to be healthy. It’s a fine line.
“I’m making changes and that’s what is important.” That’s my favorite line.
When we decide to change, we want it to happen NOW! It doesn’t. Too often, we don’t give ourselves the time it takes. We don’t see changes quickly so we get down on ourselves. Giving ourselves time is the best gift. Thank you for saying this to others.
I think you look great whatever size you are…You are beautiful! 🙂
Hey, I just dropped by from SITS. I have had body image issues my whole life. I’ve never had an eating disorder exactly, but definitely moments of binging and moments of restriction. I think women of all sizes (and many men) can relate to what you are saying here. I’m not overweight, but I have areas on my body that I would like to change. It’s a trap that we fall into. I have so many friend whom I consider beautiful and none of them are sticks. Beauty can mean so much more than fitting into skinny jeans. Healthy is beautiful, too. I think that is the most important. Congrats on being featured today!
I’ve got some pretty huge body image issues myself. I was a chunky kid. I still see myself that way…
What’s funny is that I’m not overweight at all, but I still have to stop myself from stressing about my size. What does it to us? I gained 40 pounds when I got married eons ago, I’m 5’3″ so 40 pounds is a very big deal. I lost it and got into fantastic shape, but never forgot how I felt back then. At least I have more empathy for people who are struggling with the same thing.
Thanks for sharing your story and your pics!
Visiting from SITS Girls
Here from SITS! I struggle a lot with my body image. I have some medical issues that have made me gain weight and made it hard to lose weight. I lost 50 pounds and have gained 25 back. It sucks. I wish I felt more inspired to get back on track.
Smart, motivating, touching and inspiring. You’re beautiful, Mimi!
Jenn
I’m way late commenting for SITS! I started a comment and something happened to it, so I’m just now getting back by. Hope you had a wonderful day.
Wanted to say this is a great post. I wrote one recently called Beauty, Body Image and Anorexia, and it has been one of my most popular posts. I think this message of true beauty is powerful and really resonates. The message from the culture is so strong that I think we need as many who will to fight against it with the message that women need to hear and believe!
Loved this post and the truth that our sucess starts with our minds. No matter the number on the scale or sown into our jeans.
We have to love ourselves in the middle of our processes b.c we are always in one!
Thanks for sharing and encouraging!