My name is Mimi and I have a food addiction. I admit it. I feel just like one of those crack heads on the addiction shows. It’s the SAME cycle. Only we need food to live. Ugh!
I am lazy. I cannot stick to a routine for more than X number of weeks and/or months.
I have stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings. I have stopped journaling. I have stopped working out. I have stopped being obsessed with loosing weight and getting in shape.
I feel like a loser. Not in the good sense.
I can feel myself getting fatter. Bleh. I hate this. I worked so hard to get where I am. WHY am I allowing myself to be such a loser?
I have gone through this vicious cycle all 28 years of my life. I have yet to figure out why I continue to “fall off the wagon.” Even though, I want this more than anything. WTF is wrong with me? What is the missing link? I am still searching for what causes me to not connect and make the change when I feel myself slipping. It’s like I get down a certain # of lbs and just get lazy or complacent or all the compliments go to my head. I honestly don’t know. It takes a lot of work and maybe I just don’t feel like obsessing over it and working fulltime (with a job I now hate after 7 years), planning a wedding, trying to start my own empire, run a household, etc. I’m an all or nothing type of girl. Yea, that makes total sense. Just give up and start gaining the weight back. Way to go smart ass.
I’m so hungry 24/7. I think about food 24/7. That disgusts me. I’m angry because I cannot eat what I want. So, I eat it. Then, I feel guilty. The same bullshit cycle I’ve been going through for years. Then, I’m unmotivated and too tired to work out. So because I’m not working out I get tired. UGH!!!!!!!!!
I’m over it. I want to change. I want to get back on track. I’m so much better than this. I don’t think being FAT is ok. It’s not healthy. It’s gross.
I need to lose this last 40 lbs. I need to look good for my wedding day. I am tired of feeling like shit when its hot outside because I hate the Summer fashions because I feel so fat. Another damn summer with the same feelings and resentment. Really????
I am done with this rant. Until next time. And hopefully in a more inspiring and motivated spirit.
-Continuing to search for the missing link . . .
Hi! I’m Aimee with 2 E’s. I'm a confidence coach that empowers women to love themselves by breaking down body image issues, so that they can lose the emotional weight and gain the confidence to look and feel irresistible...at any size.
I can really relate to this post. I was saying the same thing 3 wks ago and I too am a repeat offender.
Btw, thank you for visiting my little piece of the blog world. I came across yours last night and began reading it from the beginning. You inspired me so I had to follow you AND you are absolutely fabulous. Love your style. =)
V
Aww, thanks V! I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and leave me a comment.
It’s always nice to know we aren’t alone in this “battle!”
Your post was inspiring to me 🙂
Yes, I am a repeat offender. I love the term! LOL!!!
Take Care and Keep up the good work!
-Mimi
Awwwww Mimi I know exactly how you feel! But everyone goes through it, I think it’s normal and natural to fall off the wagon. Get the negative thoughts out of your mind and start again. You’ve done it before, so you’ll be able to do it again.
I just finished my 6 week challenge.. ok yes, I really don’t need to lose a great deal but to get rid of that bloated stomach is a must. My stmoach was as flat as its ever been. I got excited and started eating bread, potatos, fizzy drinks…. and now my jeans are tight again and i put on a little bit of weight I lost….
SO we’re both in the same boat. We need to motivate each other to get passed this. But it’s ok to induldge and treat yourself.
Chin up, you’re an absolute beautiful woman!
xxxx
I can really relate to this, I start off with really good intentions and each time think “I’ll do it this time” and then…stop. I understand your frustration but hopefully if we keep trying we’ll get there!
Stopping by from SITS to say hi, you’ve got a really nice blog here, I’ll be back
Hello! Just came across your blog and absolutely love it! You have a new follower!
xo
OK. Pitty party is over!! You have been doing so great! Just keep thinking of that beautiful wedding dress! You are not alone – so many of us go through this cycle(me too). You are so beautiful-don’t beat yourself up!!
Thanks you ALL for your kind and inspiring words. I am getting myself back on track no matter what it takes. I am so lucky to have such awesome readers like you guys 🙂
Mimi! *hugs* I hope you feel better about yourself soon. Am I the only one who doesn’t see you as fat? 🙂 You will be a freaking GORGEOUS bride on your wedding day regardless for more reasons than just the physical but because it is a special day that you will share with your soon to be hubby! <3 just remember that.
In the mean time, I fell off my work outs a bit, but I can’t beat myself up about it. & Neither should you! Let’s support each other hun!!! I’ve got your back!
I think the hardest thing for me to face is that the way I have to eat is the way I have to eat for the rest of my life. Changing my mindset and thought-life has been the challenge! I found I could obssess with why why why (while stuffing things in my face that shouldn’t be there) and end up using the “I just need to know why I keep doing this” as an excuse to fail for awhile. I have to tell myself, “YOU don’t know why right now but just keep eating right and exercising, sister!”
YOU, my dear, have gotten farther than I have; you are an inspiration so I say: STICK TO IT – this was just a bad day (week?) and tomorrow is a new, fresh, clean slate. Just don’t quit – ignore the fail, pick yourself back up and keep going forward. You can do this. Look what you’ve already accomplished!