I’ve been tossing this thought around in my brain for weeks, months now.
I never thought about it before I started therapy for emotional eating. My therapist has brought this up with me many on many different occasions. She is no means pushing it on me but believe me when I say she knows from experience that it works. She says, “I really just think that all that’s missing for you is the belief in a higher power.”
She says that once you turn your eating disorder over to this “higher power” you will find the strength to change, to finally change once and for all.
I just can’t wrap my head around this. I’m trying. I really am. I’m researching. I’m reading. I’m soul searching. Because of my background, I just can’t understand how I “just” turn my lifelong struggle with weight over to something that I may or may not believe exists and it will magically give me the willpower to become thin.
I know this higher power business is a big part of the 12 step program found in Overeater’s Anonymous, which I just am not a fan of . I could on, but I digress.
I wasn’t raised in a religious or spiritual home what so ever. It was a foreign territory growing up. It just didn’t exist.
As I got older, I prayed, I was spiritual (or what I would consider spiritual) within myself, but I find it a very personal journey.
I guess I’m not spiritual enough because I don’t get this whole higher power stuff.
I’m not getting it because my school of thought is this:
In the past when I lost weight, if I made the choice to work out, ignore the icing, and measure my food, that was MY strength and determination. Nobody else’s.
Well, I have read that people with food addictions or any addictions all have this ego/control issue that they can do it all by themselves. Obviously, that’s not working out all that great for us! Now, is it?
The higher power people would then ask you, “So where did that strength come from then?”
The higher power school of thought is that the higher power is providing you with the strength once you are able to surrender yourself and admit you can’t do it alone.
Is either one wrong or right?
Honestly, I have no idea. No freakin’ clue.
I do believe things in life happen for a reason. People we meet, challenges we go through are all hidden blessings that bring us down the path in life right where we are supposed to be. I’ve had those moments where I’ve just known I’m exactly where I was supposed to be. By who? By whomever is that “higher power.” There are things that cannot be explained or rationalized. You just have to believe it. But, I can’t seem to relate this to my weight loss.
My therapist said maybe it’s because I don’t have faith that it will work for weight loss yet. Maybe.
I think for me it’s because I see weight loss as work. As concrete results. Not something, I can just close my eyes and turn over. It’s personal work and dedication that can’t be done by anyone else but me. How can a higher power really intervene with that?
She said that you typically need to hit rock bottom to find your higher power. God help because I’ve already hit rock bottom way too many times. I wouldn’t have started therapy if I hadn’t! If that has to happen again, then I might as well give up now because the thought of that is just too discouraging.
This has really been heavy on my mind. I want to know what you think. Does a higher power have to exist in order to have success with weight loss. I’m talking about life-long success, not just losing weight for your next vacation. Not the skinny little bimbo trying to lose 5 lbs for Summer.
You have to have something BIG driving you to do this forever. Driving you to change your entire life style that you’ve latched on to since childhood. Something bigger than a vacation, a wedding, a pair of jeans. I get that. So, must you surrender yourself to finding a Higher Power to successfully lose weight? Well, what do you think?
“You never have to do anything. Don’t know what to do? Do nothing. I wait. And that has been a big lesson: to be willing, to be still with myself, and trust myself and my higher power to help me make the right decision.”