I hate the word Plus Size. I hate the term, FULL figured.

I hate being categorized.

I refuse to accept that I fit into any of these categories. The truth is, to the outside world I guess I do.

None of us should be categorized. If we categorized clothing by race it would be discrimination. What’s the difference?

This is the reason I have procrastinated on wedding dress shopping. I’ve had so many negative experiences as it relates to shopping and my size that I kept waiting until I lost more weight. The reality is I have to find it now. I can lose more weight between now and the wedding and have the dress altered. I have to find something I’m comfortable in no matter what. Even if I lose another 40 lbs, I will always be a curvy, hour glass shape. I will always have DD’s, wide hips, and thick thighs. That won’t change. I don’t even want that to change. I think curves are beautiful.

I can’t get this dress out of my head. None of the salons here have it. I think I should find it and try it on. What do you think?

My first dress shopping experience was amazing. My bridal consultant fit me into every gown and never had a negative comment about my size. She made me feel amazing.

My second experience was so much fun because there wasn’t a consultant and it was just me, my Maid of Honor, and my Mom. We had a blast.

Then, my 3rd experience happened. I decided to get into a shop at the last minute and try on some gowns. I went alone because it was quick and I wanted to get it over with and not intrude on anyone’s schedule.

I should have known better when the majority of the sample gowns were in sizes 8 and 10. In “real” dress life, that’s similar to a size 6/8 dress. Come on!!!! The consultant asked what I was looking for and I’m a girl who knows EXACTLY what I want! So, I proceed with:

  • Ruching in the mid section and pulled to the side
  • Shiny Satin
  • Long train with embellishments/beading
  • Beading at the bottom of the dress
  • Sweetheart neck
  • Bling, bling!
  • NO ball gowns. They make me huge. My hips are already 46 inches. I don’t need to extenuate this area!

So, she gathers up a few gowns. Puts them in the dressing room. All but 2 of them are BALL GOWNS! To appease the little consultant, I tried them on. Um yea. I told you ball gowns are not my style.

Did I mention she left me all alone in the dressing room and said let me know if you need any help! Um hello! These are not clubbing dresses. They probably weigh 20 lbs each. I cannot put them on by myself. F for FAIL in customer experience!

The 2 “ruched” gowns did not fit properly (remember the “sample sizes”) so the little consultant probably thinks my only hope is the ball gown. Not true. I can wear any style I want thank you very much.

So, she brings this other ball gown style with a trumpet silhouette because she just knew this would be fantastic. I have to say the trumpet style is fierce. It hugs the body and shows off every curve. Very sexy!

But, this crazy bitch has the nerve to say something like this:

“Wow, this dress really shows off your figure. You’re a full figured woman, so this is a great fit for you. You CAN wear any style like the normal sizes as long as it’s in a plus size. I can’t believe how little your waist is and you look so tall now. See, this doesn’t make you wide like the other gown.”

Oh, so I was a short, fat troll with no shape when I walked in the door?
In all reality, I don’t think she said any of those things to be hurtful. I just don’t think certain people realize what it’s like to be in our shoes. I didn’t say anything to her but the more I pondered it after I left, the angrier I got and I even started to cry. Then, I stopped myself. I refused to let anyone make me feel this way. I’ve busted my ass to lose 45 lbs and I know I look great. I look better than I have in a long time. Maybe ever. I know I have more weight to lose and that’s ok. I’ll get there.
I should have said something. Why didn’t I? Have I just become so accustomed to this type of feedback that its “acceptable”? I know that it’s not. You better believe if this happens again, I won’t be quiet!
For the record, I’m not a plus size bride and I refused to be placed in that category. Bridal gown size charts are just bad for your mental health! Actually sizes 2-20 are the “regular” sizes before it hits plus. I am a size 12/14 in the waist, 16 in the hips and 20 in the boobs according to the damned sized charts!! So, that said how could the size 6 consultant ever understand? In my opinion that shop caters to skinny girls and that’s their agenda. Fine. I know one place I won’t purchase my gown and I won’t be recommending to anyone!
Why isn’t there just one place that caters to EVERY size without labeling, discriminating, or making others feel inferior because they don’t fall into a certain category. Equality for all damn it!
“Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It mean you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.”