Someone brought it to my attention that I frequently use the phrase “goal weight.” They had never heard someone using this term before. To me, it just seemed normal. It’s a phrase that’s been in my life for as long as I can remember. This really made me realize how big of a problem “goal weight” is for those of us that struggle with weight and body image.
What is Goal Weight?
Technically speaking, goal weight is just a number you have identified as the goal for your weight loss journey. However, that’s not what I’m talking about. Goal weight is talked about a lot in the dieting world. Especially if you are a long time Weight Watchers members…or what is now just called WW.
Goal weight is this magical place where you finally get the body you’ve always dreamed of. Once you get to goal, you’ve made it. Once you get to goal, all the happy things finally fall into place for you. You get to finally wear that outfit you’ve been fantasizing about. You can go on vacation. Wear the bathing suit. Get pregnant…whatever. The dreams are limitless because once you get to goal weight you’re unstoppable. You’ll no longer have the weight holding you back from living the life of your dreams.
What’s Wrong with the Concept of Goal Weight?
Ok, let’s get back to reality.
Goal weight has been romanticized as this magical place that we have to strive for.
The problem with this is that getting to goal weight is possible but it’s going to take time. Or, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you may never get to goal weight.
Whether you get to goal or not, it’s ok!
1. Life is Happening Now!
What’s not OK is waiting to live your damn life until you get to goal weight. What do I mean by that? You shouldn’t have to put everything ok hold because you’re not at your goal weight or at your ideal size. The number on the scale or the size of your jeans shouldn’t determine your worth and how full your life is.
Life is happening right now. Life is going to continue to happen whether you’re at your goal weight or not.
2. Weight Loss is a Journey
This is a journey. And it doesn’t stop at goal weight. Once you get there, if you do, then you have to maintain and live this healthy lifestyle forever…unless you want to go back to feeling fat and miserable. I say feeling because you can be fat and totally happy.
This is why so many of us have lost and gained weight so many times and been on so many yo-yo diets. We bought into the illusion that life would begin at goal weight. So once we got there or got pretty damn close, we stopped doing the things that got us there. Slowly but surely the weight starts coming back on. You can’t put a timeline on this…it’s a journey and it never stops.
3. You Have to Lose the Emotional Weight
Another big issue for gaining back the weight is that you probably never addressed the emotional weight that you were carrying…and probably still are. The emotional weight contains YEARS of trauma, name calling, and experiences that negatively impacted your body image and confidence. Getting to goal weight doesn’t make all of that go away UNLESS you’ve done the work to lose the emotional weight AND the physical weight.
Now, this is the reason that so many women “fail” once they get to goal. They then find things to pick apart about their appearance. It’s the classic, “I lost the weight but…”
- My skin is too saggy after losing the weight.
- My face has lost its elasticity and I need a face lift.
- I still have stretch marks so I’ll never wear a bathing suit that shows my stomach.
- My kids ruined my stomach and I can’t lose this pouch no matter how much weight I lose.
That’s why honestly, body image and confidence or a lack thereof effects ALL women. It’s not just related to being overweight. This is why someone can weigh 250 lbs but have more confidence than a woman that weighs 120 lbs.
The “fat girl” mentality doesn’t melt away at goal weight unless you do the work to lose her too.
But, It’s Not Your Fault!
I want to let you off the hook and tell you none of this is your fault. We’ve been conditioned by society and the media that this is the way it works. That life begins once we have the perfect body and we get to goal weight. That is what has been conditioned in our brains for so many years that we’ve come to believe it’s the truth. We have been sold the fantasy of goal weight.
I’m giving you permission today to start living your damn life no matter what you weigh. Create a new version of goal weight for yourself that doesn’t include a number or a size. Think about how you want to feel. Think about the things you want to do. A great way to get started is to download my free action plan, How To Look & Feel Irresistible At Any Size.
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Hi! I’m Aimee with 2 E’s. I'm a confidence coach that empowers women to love themselves by breaking down body image issues, so that they can lose the emotional weight and gain the confidence to look and feel irresistible...at any size.