The Invisible Elephant

Do you ever feel like you’ve lost your mojo? Like it just slipped out of your hand and it’s floating around but you can’t catch it?

I do.

I’ve been trying to shake this feeling for the past month and I haven’t been successful.

I’ve lost my mojo to eat right, workout, and keep pursuing my blogging career.

Ok, so I eat right SOME of the time. I workout SOMETIMES and I am working full-time but am having a hard time giving my blogging career 110%.

This is the effed up part of it all. I WANT to keep losing weight. I WANT to get in shape. I REALLY WANT to keep pursuing my blogging career so that eventually I can kiss my full-time job good bye.

Even more effed up is that I HATE having this extra weight on me. I HATE that it’s getting hot out and I’m not happy with my weight loss efforts. I can’t freaking stand the fact that the days are FLYING by me. Why is time rushing by so fast yet I’m not accomplishing anything? Ughhh!!!!

Career wise, my brain is swarming with tons of creative ideas. So many that I feel overwhelmed at times and I think that’s what paralyzes me from getting real work done. It’s like when I go to put the pen to paper (so to speak) nothing and I mean NOTHING  comes out.

Then I get anxiety because I know I’m wasting time. Precious time. Every day I waste puts me another day behind in achieving ALL of my goals.

invisible elephant

I feel like there’s an invisible elephant sitting on top of me. I want to get up. I want to be motivated and be the person I envision in my head but something keeps holding me down.  This sounds weird but it’s almost like an out of body experience.

I actually find this to be physically and mentally painful. I have these visions in my head about my weight loss goals and where I want to see myself in my career. However, my actions aren’t leading me in that direction. That’s my own fault.

I HATE feeling like this. I can’t seem to shake it even though I want it so bad.

Why is this invisible elephant holding me back?

“When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run”
~Abraham Lincoln~