Are you should’ing all over yourself? Do the “shoulds” come up when you have a happy thought about feeling confident in your own body? If you’re immediate reaction is to say things like “I should lose 10 lbs” or “I should order a salad”, you need to listen up! I’m going to give you 3 ways to stop should’ing all over yourself!
What does this even mean? Do you find yourself saying things like this?
- I should lose 10 lbs.
- I should order the salad.
- I shouldn’t eat that.
- I should be on a diet.
Should’ing all over yourself is when you are constantly saying these statements. The thing about this that you have to look at is this. Are you saying it because you truly believe you should do it OR because you think that society or other people want you to say that?
Before we jump into to how to stop should’ing all over yourself, let me tell you about a day that I relalized I was doing this. I had just returned from a business trip. My husband picked me up and we went to the beach just to sit on the sand and catch up. The weather was PERFECT. It wasn’t hot or cold. It was that perfect ocean breeze. I can remember thinking how GOOD and amazing I felt in that moment. I even thought, “Wow, I could still feel like this and never lose another pound.” BUT, then I got a case of the shoulds. They overpowered the happy thoughts and I started thinking yea but you should keep losing weight, stay on a diet, etc.
How To Stop Should’ing All Over Yourself
1. Start Questioning the Shoulds
When you start to notice those “should” thoughts popping into your mind or coming out of your mouth, you have to interrupt the pattern. You do this by questioning WHY you’re thinking or saying that. Get curious. Ask a ton of questions. Start writing your answers down so that you can get more clarity around where this is coming from so that you can make changes to how you talk and think about yourself.
2. Re-define Beauty & Body Image for YOU
Part of the problem is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that there’s one standard of beauty. As much as we don’t like to admit it, the media has played a part in how we feel about ourselves. To break free from this way of thinking, you have to define what beauty and body image means for YOU…not what you think it should mean.
3. Do a Digital Detox
Do you ever scroll Instagram and immediately start comparing your life and body? STOP IT! If there are accounts or people that are not inspiring you and are instead making you feel like total shit, un-follow them. Do a digital detox. You have to surround yourself with people and things that inspire, motivate, and validate you. This isn’t the 90’s anymore…we have full control over what media we consume.
So what do you do from here? I want you to sign up to receive my free action plan. This is the next step to get started and learn how to look and feel irresistible without relying on another stupid diet.
Comment Time! What things are you saying you “should” do or feel?
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Hi! I’m Aimee with 2 E’s. I'm a confidence coach that empowers women to love themselves by breaking down body image issues, so that they can lose the emotional weight and gain the confidence to look and feel irresistible...at any size.
Society doesn’t want you to eat that salad. Humans are made for healthy veggies, and it’s human nature to low-key know healthier choices. Society doesn’t invent this concept, it just reinforces.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find it very salty to post pics of fat “real” woman, but turn off the media when a woman who is clearly “unrealistic” makes you feel insecure. Celebs use photoshop, most insta models do, not everyone does. Comparing yourself to others can be very unhealthy, don’t get me wrong. Anyone can do whatever they want, I just think it’s salty. I mean unfollowing anyone you basically think is doing better than you…? They must all be fake, right…?
You have to go through a lot of conditioning to redefine beauty for YOU, as being attractive is based on fertility, and health, even if that’s only subconscious. In the west being overweight shows health problems, and a lack of fitness, in countries that lack food it’s the other way around, because it shows prosperity. Some beauty standards are simply trends, not all of them.
Shoulds I get, sometimes I heavily regret having desert. What do I do with that? Listen to my body and respect it by giving it something healthy, not harmful.