I get asked this question all the time. “How do I lose weight?” More specifically, many of you have asked me how I’ve lost 60 lbs since the birth of my daughter. My answers are going to surprise you and they may not even impress you. When we see a woman that has lost weight, these questions seem innocent and relevant: “What diet are you on? What exercise plan are you doing? How fast did you lose it?”

While on the surface these questions are innocent, there’s actually a lot to unpack here and discuss. When we dig a little deeper, they’re actually quite problematic. Listen to this Irresistible You podcast to learn why.

I used to ask these types of questions too. There’s a reason we ask these questions when we see someone that has lost weight. We want to know how they did it so that we can replicate their success. Even though what works for my body may not work for your body.

These questions are seriously problematic and are the epitome of what diet culture has conditioned you to do. We are always on the hunt for the magic solution to lose weight.

Nobody wants to hear my real answer. My real answer is not sexy. It’s not a magic pill. Or a quick fix. My answer will not impress you. My answer will not impress the diet culture followers. 

The quick and dirty answer is that it’s taken two and a half years to get off 60 lbs. Many see that as a failure on the surface if that’s all I told you.

It’s not a sexy, magical, quick fix answer that you actually want to hear.

Why It Has Taken This Long to Lose Weight

Yes, it’s taken me two and a half years and let’s talk about why.  I see this as a win. In two and a half years, I haven’t gained back my weight back. I’m not deeply depressed. I’m not handing over my credit card number during the 3am infomercial. I’m not chasing the diet fads and the detox teas on Instagram.  I’m not signing up for gym memberships that I’ll never actually use it. I’m not doing any of that shit anymore. I spent a lifetime running on the yo-yo diet/body hate shame cycle doing ALL of those things. For YEARS.

So, How Did I Lose 60 Pounds?

While I’m down 60 pounds, I’m still on my weight loss journey. I still have at least another 50-60 pounds to go until I get to my version of goal weight. So how am I doing it?

I eat in moderation. I ate 3 cupcakes before I wrote this post. I eat what I want and move on with my life. Am I eating cupcakes seven days a week? Hell no! It’s my birthday weekend and I’m going to have cupcakes without the guilt and shame. I don’t deprive myself but I also don’t binge junk food 24/7. I don’t cut out food groups or certain types of food.

When it comes to weighing in, I don’t beat myself up because the scale goes up or doesn’t move. I’ve learned that the scale is just a tool to measure metrics. It’s one part of the story. If the scale is up a pound or two, it doesn’t mean all of my other hard work was for nothing. I don’t see that as starting over. I just see it as data. The human body fluctuates…especially women.  I also put the brakes on the drama if the scale doesn’t move at all. Before, my fat girl mindset would get discouraged, give up, and then hunt for the magic diet solution.

I’ve organically incorporated movement and physical activity in my life because I want to do it. Not because I feel obligated to do it or because I hate my body so much that I use exercise as punishment. I do what I love. I walk, lift weights, kayak, kickboxing, and play with my dog and my daughter outside. I do it because I want to. Some days I don’t want to and it’s ok.

I’ve been on the opposite side of the spectrum where I used exercise as punishment. I’ve worked out before naked, alone, in front of my mirror so that I could shame myself to see all that jiggling fat. You have to be in a really dark place to do something like that. It’s not ok. That is definitely not self love.

I dropped the hundreds of pounds of emotional weight because I follow the five guiding principles of the Irresistible You framework. Nobody wants to hear that you have to do the hard work of facing all the feelings, emotions, and BS you’ve been pushing down with food. Nobody wants to hear that it takes more than a few weeks or a few months. Not many people are ready and willing to face who they really are and face and own up to their bullshit.

The women that want to do this are the ones that are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.  Weight is just a symptom of all the other bullshit you’ve got going on.  I’d sure as hell like to be uncomfortable feeling my feelings and owning my BS instead of exercising naked and talking to myself like a piece of shit on the floor.

Irresistible You Has Helped Me Lose the Emotional Weight

Following my Irresistible You framework has helped me to lose the emotional weight and…

  • Not give a shit what anyone thinks about me or my body.
  • Know that I’m worth more than a stupid number.
  • Focus on making healthy lifestyle changes and no longer chasing after quick fixes or fad diets.
  • Stop starting over on Monday.
  • Drop the all or nothing thinking.
  • Stop striving to become someone I’m not.
  • Stop comparing myself to anyone else.
  • Stop chasing after the perfect body because I know it doesn’t actually exist.
  • Remove the timelines and deadlines to lose weight just so I can fit into a certain size by a certain date.
  • Stop talking to myself like a piece of shit.

So, these are ALL of my answers to what seemed like a very simple question: How did you lose the weight? It seems like such a simple, innocent, relevant question. But, when we unpack it, the answers are not so simple. I don’t have some simple “impressive” answer for you. I’m going to tell you that if you want to lose the weight, keep it off, and end the yo-yo diet/body hate shame cycle, it’s time to dig in and do the work.

Are you ready to make the choice to lose the emotional weight and stop looking for a quick fix? Sign up for my free training: https://irresistibleyou.info/live-training

Listen To The Podcast Episode!

Head on over and listen to the Irresistible You podcast for this episode and more just like it. You can subscribe with iTunesStitcherGoogle Music, or your fav podcast player. Search for Irresistible You. When you subscribe with a podcast app, you’ll get notified each time I publish a new episode.

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