This is a story about how the unwritten fat girl rules used to control my life. Back in the day before social media and the internet, checking snail mail in an actual mail box was an exciting time for a new teenager. I waited with bated breath for the latest edition of Seventeen Magazine to show up in my mailbox. It was one of the highlights of life for a 90’s teenager! I thumbed through pages and pages of skinny “perfect” girls with Colgate smiles (effortlessly) rocking 90’s fashion that showed off their perfect bare midriff with a flannel ironically tied around their waist. Combat boots optional.
When I finished devouring Seventeen, I did what any other 13 year old did in 1993. I turned on MTV. Yes, back in the day they actually showed music videos and corny dance parties. It was like the girls from the magazine came to life on my TV.
None of these “perfect” girls looked like me. None of them were chubby. None of them had frizzy curly hair. None of them had glasses or braces.
In the 90’s, the media was spoon fed to you by some assholes in NYC that dictated everything from TV to written publications. There was no body positive movement. There were no plus size models. Blogging wasn’t a thing. YouTube? Nothing even close! Everything in the media was about how skinny you should be. On occasion, in your mom’s magazines like Woman’s Day or Red Book, there would be a tiny article hidden away in shame about how to minimize your fat curves.
The Unwritten Fat Girl Rules
That’s where it began. Something is wrong with me. If I want to be “perfect”, I need to look like a Seventeen girl. I need to camouflage my fat curves.
These messages which seem subtle and innocent become unwritten rules that we follow without realizing it.
When I made the declaration to create an irresistible life, I had to do an audit of my thoughts. I realized that these messages were so deeply ingrained into my subconscious. One day, I woke the eff up and decided to break the rules and start living life on MY terms . . .my rules.
Let’s debunk some of these ridiculous “fat girl” rules.
Fat Girls Should Never Wear Tight Clothes
Remember those wide leg JNCO jeans from the 90’s? All the girls were pairing them with tight, ribbed sweaters. I spent every weekend of my teenage years at the local skating rink. One night I was rocking my new JNCO jeans with a tight baby blue ribbed shirt and I thought I looked bomb.com.
It only took a few minutes before someone had to rain on my parade. One of the resident mean girls who was twice my size came up to me and said, “Look at you. Trying to rock clothes like you’re a size three. Who do you think you are?”
As she was saying it, you could see the look of shock, awe, and jealousy all over her face. I mean we all know that bullies are just insecure assholes anyways.
This girl always wore baggy t-shirts, jeans, and never bothered with her hair and makeup.
I guess she was in shock that a fellow “fat girl” could actually wear the same outfit that all the skinny girls were rocking. Yea and I rocked it well!. My point in telling you this story is that you can wear whatever the hell you want . . . at any size. Forget what those so called fashion experts tell you. What do they really know anyways? These are the same people that compare our bodies to fruit. How’s that for credibility?
Fat Girls Should Never Wear Stripes or Animal Print
You know those “fashion rules” that say curvy women shouldn’t wear stripes or crop tops? Yea, toss that aside. You know those lists written by a college intern that say women over 30 shouldn’t wear mini skirts or go out dancing? Yup, toss that aside too.
If you’re fat, all you deserve to wear is black all day, every day. To that, I say screw you! I LOVE wearing black but I’m also a sucker for animal print.
I’m going to wear leopard print until the day I die.I don’t care if I’m 300 lbs or 120 lbs, I will always be loyal to my leopard print.
So rock them striped FITTED shirts, zebra stripes, or leopard spots sista!
Fat Girls Can’t Be Healthy
This girl that I used to work with years ago was so obsessed with everything she ate . . .and what everyone else around her ate. She was a typical size two “perfect” skinny girl. She made sure to let everyone around her know exactly how many calories they were consuming. The irony of this story? Said skinny health nut took about ten smoke breaks a day. All that smoking would cause anyone to be winded from running or doing anything physical.
I might have been bigger than her but I know I could have out worked her physically in the gym any day.
Fat doesn’t equal not healthy and skinny doesn’t equal healthy. Nobody has the right to judge your state of health. Period.
Fat Girls Can’t Be Glamorous
There was a time when I was scared to go to a salon or a spa. That statement from the bully would play in my mind: “Who do you think you are?”
“Why on earth would you come in here to get pampered when you obviously don’t care enough about your body?”
That’s what I thought “they” would think of me.
I thought I had to wait until I reached a certain size before I could get a massage, get my hair done, or enjoy a day at the spa. Don’t wait! You deserve every single ounce of pampering.
Get your nails done. Get a facial. Get your brows threaded. Get your lashes tinted. Put on a full face of makeup. Do ALL the things that make you feel glam and irresistible.
Fat Girls Don’t Deserve Happiness
This one right here. This rule used to control my life. I equated the perfect body to happiness. I thought that until I had the perfect “Seventeen” body I didn’t deserve to be happy and have fun.
You deserve happiness now. Right fucking now. At any size. In any body shape. At any age. You don’t need to wait for anything. This is a journey, not a destination. THIS that I’m talking about? THIS is your life. You only get one shot. Don’t waste it away worrying about living once you lose 50 lbs. Don’t let anyone dictate your happiness. Create your own happiness, break the rules, and rewrite new ones!
Are You Ready to Break the Rules?
If you’re ready to break the rules and create your irresistible life, you need to download my FREE workbook: How To Create an Irresistible Life. One of the activities in the book is to help you do an audit of the rules running your life.
Once you sign up for my free workbook, you’ll be on my VIP email list and will be the first to know when my e course from Irresistible YOUniversity launches. There’s an entire module dedicated to breaking the rules where I dive even deeper into helping you turn those negative beliefs around.
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