Fake it til you make it is just straight up dumb advice. In this Irresistible You podcast episode, I’m talking about why you need confidence AND authenticity to become #IrresistibleYou. You can’t fake the funk. If you do, you’ll stay miserable running like a caged hamster on the yo-yo diet/body hate shame cycle.
I still remember sitting in my first townhouse apartment (which was the first place I lived besides my parents house) and coming up with the ideas for what would eventually become Irresistible YOUniversity.
I was going through a rough time in my career. I no longer felt fulfilled. I felt like I was wasting time. I felt like I was wasting my potential.
I knew that I wasn’t showing the world who I really was and what I was capable of. I was tired of having to fit in someone else’s box of how I should act. I was on a mission to live the life I always wanted. I started my journey to become Irresistible You.
To be #IrresistibleYou is to be the best version of YOU. To be the best version of you, it takes confidence. Lots of it.
You can’t be confident if you are not authentic.
You can’t be authentic if your not in touch with emotions, your body, and your wants, needs, and desires.
The actual definition of authentic reads, “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.
Because to be authentic means to be the truest version of yourself. A version of yourself that isn’t trying to appease society and everyone else’s ideas of who you should be. To be authentic is to be the most truest version of yourself… the person that you crave to be in your mind but right now when you look in the mirror and you look at your life, it doesn’t match who you actually are.
Just Fake It Til You Make It?
There’s way too much advice… bad advice that tells you to fake it until you make it. The problem with that advice is that it’s only surface level. This advice tells you to put a smile on your face and pretend you’re the most confident woman in the room. If you’re actually faking it until you make it, your never going to make it because you’re not focusing on what actually matters….what actually brings you long lasting results.
It’s a lot like saying you’re gonna organize your home but instead you just throw all your things in the closet with no order with no organization. You shove everything inside, hoping the door will still shut. Except that when you open the door, all of your shit is going to tumble out and fall on your head.
THAT is your life.
Part of the problem is that we’ve been conditioned to not address the bad stuff. To not address the negative emotions and the negative feelings. So instead of dealing with that, we use food as a coping mechanism to bring us temporary happiness and comfort only to feel miserable later. Starting a diet over and over again on the quest for the “perfect body” is another way to numb out and not deal with the real issues. How can you actually be authentic if you’re just glossing over everything and not actually dealing with it???
Whenever we feel a negative emotion what do we do? We want to make it go away as quickly as possible. This is where the cravings come from and yet you act like they come out of nowhere. You get this nagging craving that makes you feel like you’re going to pop out of your skin. Rather than recognize the feelings and accepting that sometimes it’s going to feel like shit, you eat or diet hoping it’s going to go away.
Back to confidence…
To be confident is to be bold. It takes conviction in what you believe and never wavering because someone else disagrees with you. Confidence takes courage. When you are uncomfortable in your body you look at other women who appear confident with envy and think “I could never be like her.” That’s because to be confident and have conviction you have to be seen. You have to be seen in a way that you’ve never been seen before. If you’ve lived your life as the token fat girl, you’re terrified to speak up and be seen. Why?! Because that is going to draw attention to you.
When you have lived a life in fear of how others view your body. In fear of how others are going to react about your body. In fear that someone is going to bully you and say that you’re fat….well, you spend your life hiding, following the rules, not making any waves. So, you waste your life living as a facade of who you really are.
You’re living a half ass version of yourself that you think everybody else wants you to be. So you stay quiet, you don’t have an opinion, you don’t say what you need to say with confidence and conviction because you have to keep playing it safe just in case somebody else has a problem with the way that you look
Let It Go…Let It Go!
When you can let go of the opinions and thoughts of others you will actually become the authentic version of you.
When you live and lean into the authentic version of you and love her unconditionally, your confidence will blossom.
When you are confident in who you are, you’ll become Irresistible You.
Where do you go from here?! Sign up for my free training so you can learn more about how the Irresistible You framework can help you gain confidence. When you sign up, I’ll gift you my Confidence Queen Masterclass just for showing up and staying until the end of the training. That’s worth over $300 and is exclusive to my signature coaching program for clients only. You don’t want to miss out!
Listen To The Podcast Episode!
Head on over and listen to the Irresistible You podcast for this episode and more just like it. You can subscribe with iTunes, Stitcher, Google Music, or your fav podcast player. Search for Irresistible You. When you subscribe with a podcast app, you’ll get notified each time I publish a new episode.
You can also stream the episode and listen right here:
Join The Podcast Discussion Group
Are you a member yet? It’s free! Come on over to Facebook and join the discussion for the podcast. Leave a comment with which step you relate to the most.
Watch the Podcast on YouTube
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Join the #IrresistibleYou Movement
Use the hashtag #IrresistibleYou on Instagram and across social media to show how you are creating and living an irresistible life. Use the hashtag to search for others who are going through the same journey with us! Plus, I’ll be re-posting and sharing some of my fav photos and stories.
Let’s Stay Connected!
The best place to connect and chat with me is on Instagram and my Irresisti