“Excuse me ma’am, but YOUR size is over there.”
This is an actual statement that was said to me during my “Medusa” days while shopping for a winter coat. Granted, I was 250 lbs, it doesn’t give anyone the right to judge me or discriminate against my size.
For all that clerk knew, I could have been picking out a coat for a friend. Ugh, I don’t need to make excuses for her. The point is that no one has the right to make statements like that or pass judgments based on our weight. But, they do. We all do. You do it. I do it.
The truth of the matter is we live in such a judgmental, size prejudice society. Shoot, I will admit even I judge “fat” people’s shopping carts at the grocery store. I’ve seen 300+ lb families and thought, “Why the hell are they buying real soda, real cookies, real chips, juice, etc.” I actually catch myself looking in people’s carts all the time. I’m a weirdo, I know! I of all people should know better. I never say anything to them, I just have this ridiculous dialogue inside my twisted little head.
We cannot control people’s opinions or thoughts but we can control our own. That is something that is ours. It cannot be taken away. Something I work towards every single minute of my life is not allowing my size or weight to define me. It’s a constant struggle and it may always be that way. I am starting to actually be comfortable in my own skin but I’ve got a ways to go.
Now days I know what works for my body and have the common sense to know that Daisy Dukes or Tube Tops are just fashion suicide. Back in the days of high school, I was the “fat” girl (a big fat size 11/13 . . . really?) with all the skinny friends that could wear what ever the hell they wanted. As a kid, you have a need to fit in. I would try to squeeze myself into things that I shouldn’t have and then beat myself up because they didn’t fit or didn’t look good.
Now, I don’t care. Now, I have the confidence to accept who I am. I know I am a fashionista. I know I am beautiful. I know am damn sexy. I have something I didn’t have much of back then, CONFIDENCE. It’s the best icing you can rock . . . and its sure does make you IRRESISTIBLE!
Until next time my gorgeous, confident cupcakes!
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.