We are not born hating our bodies. In fact, I’d argue to say we are born being pretty self aware of our bodies in a healthy way. I’ve watched my daughter over the past few months as she discovers different parts of her body for the first time. As she sits up in only a diaper she has no cares in the world about her soft little belly or the adorable rolls in her baby arms.
As we grow up, start school, get exposed to society and the media, and start interacting with other people all of that changes. The wide eyed curiosity turns into comparison to the other kids in class. You might still be naive and innocent until someone in your class calls you out for being “too fat.” Magazines in line at the grocery store that tell you how you need to lose weight to be beautiful. Images of women in the media that are only a size 2. A friend or family member that tells you to lose weight. Tons of little whispers until finally that’s the only truth you believe. That’s how it all begins. Our journey into hating our bodies and never feeling good enough.
As a woman who has been overweight my entire life, I know the struggle all too well. My life has always revolved around my size. I based my happiness around my weight. I can look at any picture from my lifetime and tell you exactly how much I weighed, what size I was wearing, and how I felt that day when I got dressed. It’s true. I remember my life in memories of my struggle with weight.
Over the past few years, I made a conscious effort to start working towards creating and living an irresistible life. Part of that life includes working on my body image and confidence. It’s taken a lot of work but I’ve finally realized that life is too short to wait for the weight. I no longer keep my happiness hostage until I reach a certain number on the scale.
That said. It doesn’t mean I have to accept where I’m at either. There’s a lot of dangerous advice rolling around the body positive community about weight loss. The hard core advocates believe that you cannot love your body while simultaneously pursuing weight loss.
I disagree. I posted a video about this in my private Facebook group too. Be sure to request access and I’ll approve you ASAP!
Here’s the thing. Your body image journey is yours and yours alone. Nobody else can do it for you. What works for me may not work for you. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do it.
I preach all the time about how there isn’t a magical before and after story for body image. I may be in a much better head space these days about my body but that doesn’t mean I’m good every day. There are days where I cannot stand what I see in the mirror. There are days where I hate myself for gaining back this weight. There are days I can barely look in the mirror naked on my way to the shower. This is normal! You will NOT love your body all the time. This also doesn’t mean you actually hate it.
Are you head over heels in love with your significant other every single day!? No, but deep down you still love them and put them as a priority in your life.
It’s the same thing with body image.
Back to acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean I have to stay at my current weight if it’s making me miserable. If my weight is preventing me from living the full potential of an irresistible life, I have permission and the right to do something about it.
What I have to accept is that I will always have wide hips, whether I’m skinny or fat. That will never change. That’s how my body was created and I cannot change it. I used to hate having wide hips. Now, I love that my body is naturally curvy. I love my shape and I wouldn’t change that for anything. What I don’t love? Having too much extra fat right now. That is something I CAN change and I’m working towards it.
See the difference?
I’m here to give you permission to work on loving your body while striving to improve it at the same time. Do you, boo