I have a confession to make. My closets are overflowing with clothes, shoes, and accessories. Sounds like any woman’s closet, right? Well, keep reading. It gets worse. I have two laundry baskets full of clothes that I can’t hang up or fit anywhere. I end up just pulling the items I need out of the clean basket and putting them into the dirty basket when I’m done wearing them.
This is no longer working for me. If my physical space is chaotic, my mind feels the same way. There’s so many clothes hanging in my closet that I can’t tell what I actually own. It was so bad that I ended up buying an identical sweater because I totally forgot I had it. I made a decision last week to start an overall reinvention of my style or lack thereof these days.
Based on what I just told you, you’d think that I’m a shopaholic and I’m not. I’ve actually been quite the opposite lately. Gaining back my weight has put that love affair on hold. It’s not fun to shop when you hate your body or your waiting until you fit into a specific size again. That said, I end up wearing the same “safe” outfits until they are literally un-wearable.
Create Three Piles of Clothes
I took every single piece of clothing out of my closet and laid it on my bed. I made three piles:
As I went through each individual piece of clothing, I could clearly remember why/when I bought it, where I wore it, and how I was feeling about my body at the time. For someone that loves fashion, I was embarrassed to have so many UGLY pieces of clothing. I swear sometimes I don’t have a sense of time. I didn’t realize that some of this stuff was so old!
The “One Day Again” Clothes
A lot of the items were from 2010 when I lost a lot of weight before my wedding. I remember feeling so happy that I could shop again and I could wear things I had never been able to. Back then I threw out all of my “fat clothes” because I swore I’d never go back. Well, I did.
I haven’t wanted to shop much since gaining back this weight because I have no intention of staying here. So instead, I’ve allowed myself to wear the same crap and hang on to a bunch of clothes that might fit when I reach goal. I no longer want to hang on to these clothes because they are already outdated, faded, some have holes, and they aren’t even my style anymore. These clothes no longer represent who I am and who I want to be. Why hang on to this crap?! Its got to go!
The Security Clothes
Then there’s the clothes I hung on to for security. I have this little red cardigan thing that you can wear in the summer time. I always wear it over a red/white summer dress because wearing anything with sweater material is perfectly logical when it’s 90 degrees and humid.
“I hate this sweater. I’ve hated it for a long time. I always keep it just in case. I don’t want my fat arms to feel exposed when it’s 100 degrees out so it’s kind of like a security blanket. Actually, I have a bunch of these cardigans laying around. I don’t even want to wear this shit, this summer. I feel like I have to keep it because what if I don’t lose weight? Then I’ll have nothing to wear. I just want to put on a cute pair of denim shorts and a tank top and feel comfortable and look good. I’m not spending another summer hating myself. This is going in the donate pile because I won’t need it this year!”
The Reminder Clothes
Then there was the fat dress. I had to buy it last year for the BlogPaws conference because nothing I owned fit me. I hated it. I’ve been feeling a lot less than irresistible lately. This time the weight loss is so slow that I forget how I felt before. I decided to try it on and it literally hung off my body like a tent. I couldn’t believe it. I started to lay it in the donate pile, but then I stopped. I hung on to it for a minute, teared up, and thought you KNOW how to do this. You know how to get to goal. I put that dress into the keep pile . . . not because I have any intention of wearing it again but because I
want need that reminder.
Between my husband and myself, we got rid of TEN garbage bags full of old clothes. Clothes weren’t the only things in those bags. They were also full of memories, happy times, embarrassing times, heartbreaking times, thinner times, and even fatter times. I cleaned out more than just clothes in my closet. I also got rid of emotional baggage and cleared the path to resume my journey to irresistible!
“Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.”
~Charles Dudley Warner~
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