Happy New Year! I think it’s pretty normal to reflect on the past year as the New Year arrives. I don’t want to spend too much time looking back but want to share a few things that 2014 taught me about my weight loss journey. My journey is MINE. It might look different for you or you might find similarities in the things I go through. My point is that sometimes a weight loss journey isn’t as simple as having one before and after pic. There’s a lot of things that happen in between. There’s even times when the weight loss plateaus or the weight comes back on. That’s why I call it a journey. I feel like I lost a lot of emotional weight in 2014 that has helped me have more clarity in the process.
1. Intuitive Eating Doesn’t Work
In 2014, I tried different things when it came to my weight loss journey. I had read a lot about intuitive eating and going scale free. As an emotional binge eater, I’ve tried everything and I was willing to venture down this road to see if that would be the magic solution once and for all.
Intuitive eating is a nutrition philosophy based on the premise that becoming more attuned to the body’s natural hunger signals is a more effective way to attain a healthy weight, rather than keeping track of the amounts of energy and fats in foods.
It wasn’t. It caused me to gain weight. If you have Binge Eating Disorder there is no such thing as Intuitive eating.
I need structure when it comes to eating. I need accountability. Otherwise, I’d be eating nothing but icing every single day! Intuitive eating might work for you and if it does that’s awesome. I learned a hard lesson in 2014 that it’s just not for me and that’s ok.
2. There is No Cure for Binge Eating Disorder
Binge Eating Disorder cannot be cured but it can be treated. Treatment is something that lasts forever and doesn’t have some magical due date. It’s for LIFE! In 2014, I finally really came to the reality that I have Binge Eating Disorder and it will never go away. All the diets and tactics in the world aren’t going to change that fact. This is just something I have to deal with and make a priority every single day.
3. I Have to Do This Forever
In 2014, I finally accepted that I will ALWAYS have to be mindful of what I’m eating by weighing/measuring and tracking my food in a journal. My tool of choice is Weight Watchers because it gives me the accountability without feeling like I’m missing out on something. I’ve always had it somewhere in my head that when I get to a certain weight, I can stop or loosen the reins. This is how I’ve self sabotaged myself in the past and I refuse to keep living like that. One of my mantra’s for 2015 is “Stop the Crazy!” Gaining and losing weight over and over again is CRAZY making behavior. It stops in 2015.
4. Scale Free Living is BS
There’s a difference between allowing a scale to dictate how you feel about yourself versus allowing a scale to keep you accountable and slap you back into reality when you’ve fallen off track. In 2014, I realized that while scale free living is great for other people, it’s just not for me and that’s ok. I don’t have to be a slave to the scale but I do need to be accountable to the scale every single week. When I don’t weigh in, the weight slowly creeps back on.
5. Food is the ONLY Thing I Have Control Of
2014 was an incredibly bittersweet year for me. I lost both of my grandmothers but also had so many other amazing opportunities and blessings. In 2014, I realized that death is inevitable and it’s MY choice how I deal with the devastating times. When I lost my Nam, everything felt so chaotic and out of control . . . and it was! I had an epiphany that the only thing I could control during the chaos was my choices with food and exercise. This was really empowering and helped me manage all of those crazy emotions!
6. I’m Not a Quitter
There’s been so many times that I’ve beat myself up about gaining weight back. I’ve carried around shame and guilt because I don’t have one of those“before and after” stories where the person had this Aha moment, made changes, lost the weight, became a health nut, and never looked back. No. My story goes back to elementary school and starting my first diet in 7th grade. As I enter 2015, I’m 33 years old and have lost/gained weight so many times in between that I’ve lost count.
If I wanted to quit, I would’ve totally given up years ago. But nope. I’m a fighter and I’m still fighting this battle. I’m ready to give it my all and finally have my final “before and after” moment. 2014 taught me that I don’t give up easily. Maybe it’s my stubbornness that everyone so kindly reminds me of all the time (hehe). I don’t call it stubborn. I call it determination. I call it drive. I WILL make lifetime with Weight Watchers this year. I will prove everyone wrong including myself that I CAN do this.
There will be good days and there will be bad days. I’m taking things day by day, throwing away the guilt and perfection, and focusing on progress. So tell me, what lessons did 2014 teach you?
“90 percent perfect and shared with the world always changes more lives than 100 percent perfect and stuck in your head.”