I knew when I created by blog and decided to share some very personal stories with the world, I was making myself vulnerable. I knew that I would receive positive feedback but I also know that with blogging comes mean people assholes too.
As I’ve written before, the warm weather brings a lot of anxiety into my world. I’m not at my goal weight and that’s reinforced when you have to find clothes that are comfortable for 90 degree heat.
Even still, I was feeling happy with myself yesterday even though my arms are still flabby and I need to lose another 40 lbs. I made a pact with myself to stand in my truth. To accept my body, regardless of where I’m at in this journey. Regardless if I’ve taken two steps forward and three backwards. This is me. Right here. Right now. If you don’t like it, too bad!!!! The only approval I need is my own!
Well, I had an immature and hateful comment that simply said, “She’s Fat.” By the way, this was coming from someone that has a picture of a payphone as their profile pic . . .Um, ok.
If you are going to tell me not to let it bother me, don’t because that’s just insulting. It DOES bother me.
FAT to me is a dirty 3 letter word. It’s a word that has been used in my past by bullies. It’s a word that has been used to degrade me. To make me feel unworthy. To make me feel like I’m not even a human being.
I detest that word. I loathe that word. It’s not “just a description” to me. I’ve heard many people in the plus-size community say that it’s just a description and that really pisses me off. That’s a post for another day.
It’s fully loaded with hate, disgust, and cruelty.
I won’t tolerate it. I won’t put up with it.
I may have been a shy and weak little child when it came to being bullied. Well, I’m 31 years old now and I’m not that little weak child anymore. I can throw a pretty mean punch and I feel STRONG enough to kick some ass if I needed to!
My husband said to me, “Why do you even let some idiot like that bother you?”
That really pissed me off when he asked me that. But, I get it. He hasn’t been through what I’ve been through so he’ll never fully understand the sting behind it. I know that I’m pretty damn amazing. I would never let some nobody make me feel otherwise.
However, It bothers me because of all the reasons I listed above. It bothers me because young girls out there kill themselves because they feel “fat”. It bothers me because people think that they have the right to judge your body.
It bothers me because NOBODY has the effing right to call you names.
Bullies are nothing but insecure little cowards.
I could careless about the moron that made that comment. He means NOTHING to me. NOTHING.
What I do care about is creating a community through Irresistible Icing that is safe. A community that has a no-tolerance policy about bullying and name calling. A community where any woman can come and share their story about their body, their eating disorder, and their journey without judgment. A community where we can come together as one.
Irresistible Icing is about loving yourself, your body, and finding YOUR path to become Irresistible. Every journey is different because we all come with different life experiences.
PS – How perfect is this pic for my blog?! I don’t know who the original creator is but I love it!
“If you’re horrible to me, I’m going to write a song about it, and you won’t like it. That’s how I operate.”