I haven’t blogged in awhile mostly because I’ve still been dealing with the issues with my gallbladder. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll see that I was in the ER again! That’s 3 times in less than a month. As of right now, I’m waiting on a surgery date. I’ve seen a gastrointestinal specialist and just waiting to have this thing removed. Right now all I can eat is chicken broth, crackers, plain rice, and apple juice. Oh and the occasional Laughing Cow wedge . . . light of course. I read something that hit home about this ‘”diet”. It said that you are basically eating to give yourself enough energy to survive until the surgery. All your nutritional habits must go out the window for now.
Man, that is SO true!
I’ve felt a lot of emotions during this last month around my gallbladder from anger, sadness, fear, and most recently acceptance.
During my therapy session last week (ironically enough just hours before I ended up in the ER lol), I had an epiphany. We were doing an EMDR session around my anger with the surgery. That in itself requires a whole other blog post. lol
Recently I’ve been organizing old pictures because they seemed to just be scattered about. That’s what prompted me to finally write “My Story” on my blog. Seeing those old pictures where I call myself Medusa was horrifying. I still don’t recognize that person nor do I know what the hell she was thinking.
Prior to my first gallbladder attack, I had lost 30 pounds. I definitely started to change part of my lifestyle and then this happened. I feel like my gallstones are actually a sign. A sign that I MUST continue this healthy lifestyle and a reminder to never go back to becoming Medusa again. Ever.
No matter what anyone says, I know that yo-yo dieting my entire life caused my gallbladder to fail me. That said, this is my wake up call to REALLY change. To keep up the momentum. To never go backwards.
I had a vision of being at the hospital and seeing my gallbladder come out. To me taking out my gallbladder symbolizes leaving all those bad habits behind too. The new Mimi without a gallbladder symbolizes my new lifestyle. My new way of living that I must maintain . . . forever. The gallbladder isn’t just full of stones, it’s full of YEARS of binge eating, yo-yo dieting, and bad habits.
When I think of it this way, I accept my situation for what it is. I accept it and embrace it. I’m ready to move on and put this behind me.
“Pain doesn’t show up in our lives for no reason. It’s a sign that something in our lives needs to change.”