About 10 years ago or so someone asked me what my dream job would be.
I answered by saying I wanted to be a travel writer and live in a cottage by the ocean. At the time I was barely 22 and working as a communication liaison for a big travel company.
Fast forward to 2012.
I don’t live in a cottage. I don’t see the ocean when I look out my window. I sure as heck don’t write about travel.
BUT, I do work from home. I do get paid to write things and I write only about things I’m passionate for.
I had to get these thoughts out not to brag but to remind MYSELF of how far I’ve come. See, I worked in travel for almost 10 years. Literally most of my entire 20’s were spent selling vacations, training agents how to sell, and creating training programs about cruises and vacations. Sounds fun, huh? lol
Well, it was. It was a blast. Those were some of the best times in my life. I traveled all the time . . . sometimes for FREE! It was great. I was wild and crazy but knew how to hustle and get work done too. Seriously, I have stories that would make the devil blush LOL
Just like every company, the fun usually comes to an end. The mix of people changes and it’s funny how much that changes everything. I mean every single thing. The direction and vision just wasn’t in line with my goals and expectations anymore. I had maxed out my time if you will.
So, a month before I got married I quit. Why? I was absolutely miserable at work. I always caught myself saying, “one day . . . “ Well, I was tired of dreaming and wanted to start doing. This is the same year I started this blog.
Once I discovered blogging I wanted to do it forever. I wanted to make a living from it. Other people were doing it. Why not me?!?!
I tried it. I was also doing instructional design contract work on the side.
I went from having tons of friends at work to working at home, by myself. It was such a culture change.
Eventually my savings started to run out and blogging/consulting wasn’t enough to pay all of my bills. I had to find a full time job. I felt like a big fat failure.
Going back to work for “the man” meant I didn’t do a good enough job. I had failed myself.
Now I’m over those feelings and I’m blessed with a full time instructional design job (that pays more than my prior job ever did!) with a rather well known company and I get to do it at home!
I’ve also managed to get myself a nice monthly part-time income from my blogging and social media consulting work.
I thought to myself today, “When is it time to give up on your dream?” Well, I read something that said, “first think about how far you’ve come.”
Two years ago I didn’t have that additional part time income. I didn’t have clients. I didn’t have brands/companies contacting me and wanting to work with me because of my blogs.
No, I was making WAY less than I do today and was doing three times as much work for someone else, and was ALWAYS stressed out about the job. I was even making those around me miserable b/c I was miserable.
So when I look back and compare it to today, I am successful. It’s just that at times I still don’t feel that way because it’s not exactly where I need it to be. My dream is still to be able to write/blog full time and I’m still not giving up on that cottage by the ocean
I’m so extremely hard on myself but I feel like I have to be. Nobody else is going to do this for me. It’s my dream and I want to make it happen. Shit, it is happening! Just not at the pace I would like it to be. BUT, I have to stop and remember that I’m doing it and I’ve done all this hard work on my own. I’ve CREATED this life.
I’m so thankful for all the experience I gained up until now. I’m also thankful for my prior job making me miserable. It’s through the misery and pain that we are pushed to find our real potential. Our real passion.
I’m never going to stop pursuing that dream of writing by the ocean. Just like with my running, I’m pushing through even on the days where I feel like I can’t do it.
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