There’s a bad habit I’ve had all these years in my weight loss journey. If I have a “bad” eating day or two or three, I decide that I can’t mentally face the number on the scale. I work up this entire scheme in my head about how I’ve gained back ALL the weight I’ve worked so hard to lose by a couple of days of negligent eating. As if a couple of cupcakes or a cheeseburger WITH fries is going to murder all the work I’ve already put in. I tell myself that I’ll skip the scale this week and work extra hard next week so that I’ll definitely see a loss.

Then the next week’s weigh in comes around and I end up telling myself the same story because now that I wasn’t accountable to the scale, I’ve totally fallen off the wagon.

Then, 2 weeks go by with no accountability. The story in my head really starts to build momentum. I’ve completely convinced myself that I’m gaining it all back and that once again you’re going to show the world you’re a failure and can’t stick to your plans.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this dialogue in my head over the years. In fact I was doing it again up until last night! I realized that once again I’ve missed 2 full weeks of weigh ins. That is not acceptable! So I made a decision yesterday that I would jump back on the horse this morning with my Wednesday Weigh Ins and blog about it, no matter what.

I had totally convinced myself that I was back in the 230’s after 2 weeks. I just knew it.

Boy was I wrong when I saw the number today. I actually screamed out loud and scared my Chihuahua, Chuy!

The scale read 221.7, which is a 3.8 loss since my last weigh in. Getting out of the 220’s was my next mini-goal and I’m so close I can taste it! I’m aiming to see ONEderland in 2014. I don’t want to ring in 2015 knowing that I weigh over 200 lbs. I know that I can knock out these 21 pounds in 2 months as long as I stay focused and centered on my goal.

Weekly Weigh In October 22 2014

I had not weighed in since the day before my 5K. I am beyond grateful for this loss. It made me realize that the hardest part sometimes is just facing the cold hard truth. The number on that scale has such power over us but it shouldn’t. Even if my weight was up, I need to know that so I can do what I need to do to keep fighting. In the past I might have stopped all together for the next few months. Then after some time of course the scale is going to be up! NOT this time. I will not quit. I will not stop. The rewards outweigh the struggle. Every. Single. Time

This is a huge reminder to myself and to you reading this, don’t be afraid to face the scale. No matter how much you went over your points or how many extra cupcakes you eat the best thing you can do is stay accountable and keep fighting!

PS – If you are looking for a low point but sweet dessert idea, check out my Caramel Cinnamon Puffs for 3 Points each!

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.”
~Pearl Bailey~

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One of my favorite parts of Fall is the food! I still want to enjoy the irresistible flavors of Fall without going over my daily Weight Watchers Points. I was craving something sweet this past weekend and worked with what I already had on hand in the kitchen. I call these “Caramel Cinnamon Puffs” and they are the business! This recipe makes 10 puffs and they are 3 points each. I had posted a pic on Instagram and lots of you asked for the recipe. Ask and you shall receive!

Caramel Cinnamon Puffs Recipe on IrresistibleIcing.com

Ingredients

  • One 8 ounce can of Reduced Fat Crescent Rolls
  • 4 tbsp of Kraft Caramel Bits
  • 3 tbsp of Cinnamon
  • 3 tbsp of Splenda

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Directions

1. Cut the crescent rolls into small sections using a pizza cutter.

2. Place 3-4 pieces of the caramel bits into each piece of dough.

3. Roll the dough up into a ball

4. Mix cinnamon and splenda together.

5. Dip the ball of dough into the cinnamon/splenda mixture and cover it completely.

5. Place on a cookie sheet and bake for 12 minutes on 350 degrees.

You final product should look something like this:

Caramel Cinnamon Puffs Recipe

Leave me a comment or hit me up on Facebook if you have any questions or send me a pic if make these!

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Last weekend I ran my second 5K at the Crawlin’ Crab Craft Brew Fest in Hampton,VA. I never thought I would say I ran my first 5K  . . . let alone my second!  It’s been a full week since the race so I wanted to share a recap with you.

I Ran My Second 5K by IrresistibleIcing.com

Before I dive into the details of race day, there were a few things that were different from my first 5K.

1. Last time, my friend Danielle and I were extremely dedicated to training using the Couch to 5K program, 3 days a week for 8 weeks. This time around I still did Couch 2 5K but I wasn’t consistent week over week with my training.

2. Last time we did all of our training outside which really does help for the actual race. This time I did 90% of my training on the treadmill. Train outside as much as possible!

3. Danielle was the perfect running partner because we were at the same running level when we started . . .as in we weren’t runners!  Since we had the same goals it made it a dream to train together. This time I ran with my husband who can definitely outrun me but stayed at my pace during the race.

4. I’m about 20 lbs heavier than I was during the Surfin’ Santa 5K in December 2012. That is proof that you don’t have to be skinny or an athlete to accomplish your fitness goals!

The Night Before a 5K

The night before we headed over to the Expo to pick up our bib numbers and other goodies. I remember my nerves were all over the place! So much so that I was ready to run that night just to get all my energy out! After we picked up our numbers,  I was starving so we had dinner before heading home. Do NOT eat a cheeseburger the night before a run! I knew better but I waited too long to eat dinner so I didn’t care about healthy choices or portion control!

Crawlin Crab 5K Expo

Crawlin' Crab Number and Shirt

I didn’t sleep much that night. Anytime I have to wake up super early for an event or a flight, I’m up every hour checking the clock. I have this irrational fear of sleeping through my alarms.

The Morning of a 5K

The morning of the race I was pumped up and ready to go! About 5 minutes before the start time I realized that I was STARVING! It is definitely recommended that you eat something before running any type of race. I’m not one of those people that ever skips breakfast but I can’t eat at 5 in the morning or when my stomach is a bundle of nerves. I did make myself a smoothie but I couldn’t finish much of it.

Crawlin' Crab 5K Starting Line

Crossing the Starting Line

Every time my feet hit the pavement you would think that this running thing gets easier. Well, it doesn’t.  About a half mile into it, I wanted to quit. No really. I wanted to die. I wanted to give up.  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I heard that little devil on my shoulder telling me “Just quit. You can’t do this anyways. You didn’t train hard enough. You’re too fat to run. You’ll finish last anyways. You don’t deserve to be here with these people.”

My husband must have read my mind because it was at that moment he looked over at me and said, “You got this. Keep going. You can do it. You never quit anything you start. Focus on your breathing.”

So I did. I ran the fastest I’d ever run from the starting line all the way to the water station at mile 1.5.  I soon realized I went out of the gate too hard.  I didn’t take my own advice about ignoring everyone passing me. I felt intimated. I was terrified I would be last because of my inconsistent training.

I didn’t want to walk but my body felt numb. I couldn’t feel my feet. I felt dizzy. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls. I had goose bumps all over my body even though I was covered in sweat.

I gave into the pain and walked from the water station at 1.5 until we reached the 2 mile marker. Once I caught my breath, I was ready to finish strong!

Crossing the Finish Line!

We ran from the 2nd mile marker all the way to the finish line. It was the longest, hardest mile of my life! Just when I thought the finish line was in sight, we still had more ground to cover. I remember hearing both of our names as we came across the finish line and I could feel the tears coming back in my eyes. This time they were tears of success. Once they handed me that medal it made all of the pain worth it.

Crawlin' Crab 5K Finish Line

Finishing a run like this is such an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that I could never put into words. The funny thing is my official time was 49 minutes and 15 seconds. My first 5K was 49 minutes and 12 seconds. How crazy is that?! My husband reminded me that I DID get better because I trained less than I did before, walked part of it and still finished at the same time. If I would have ran the whole thing I definitely would have improved my time. However, this wasn’t about time for me or competing with anyone. It’s about achieving a goal that I NEVER thought I could achieve. It’s about pushing my body to do things I was always told I couldn’t do. It’s about giving hope to every kid out there that’s been bullied about their weight. That is why I run.

Once I pulled myself together, I felt great and was ready to enjoy the after race party! They fed us a big bread bowl of crab soup which was amazing! We also got 2 free beers which were pretty much a waste as my husband and I hate beer. Rum is another story. They really should have a race for rum or margaritas instead of beer!

Post Race Party Crawlin Crab

A Third 5K???

As much as I love to hate running, I’ll probably end up training for my third 5K. Now that I know I’m capable of doing it, I want to actually work on my time. There’s something really exciting about race day and seeing all these people who don’t even know you cheer you on!

It won’t be anytime this year but perhaps in 2015 . . .

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OMG! In less than 24 hours I’ll be running my 2nd 5K! I NEVER thought I would say that. I never thought I would run anything in my life! I’m nervous but excited. It’s a natural high completing a goal you thought you could never achieve and hearing and seeing all the people in the crowd cheering you on. It’s an amazing feeling! Be sure to check out my weekly weigh in along with the Irresistible Links below! 

♥  Love this Fall Lookbook from Ravings by Rae.

♥ Sons of Anarchy is one of my favorite shows. I always knew the writer Kurt Sutter had to have some serious “issues” to be able to write such kick ass content. That’s usually the case with most creative writers. I never knew that food addiction was something he used to struggle with!

♥ This is a great resource! 50 Websites For Plus Size Women

♥ I love these fashionable pumpkins for Halloween!

♥ From The Curvy Fashionista, Five Plus Size Fall Trends.

♥ How do you find fitness motivation? I adore this post from Cece, the Plus Size Princess!

Have an Irresistible weekend! xoxo

Believe that you can run farther or faster. Believe that you’re young enough, old enough, strong enough, and so on to accomplish everything you want to do. Don’t let worn-out beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself.
~John Bingham~

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I’m a bad weight loss blogger. It’s been 3 weeks since my last post. That is just ridiculous. I didn’t stop weighing in though. I just didn’t feel like talking about it. I do recognize that for me when I stop talking about it is when things can go south because part of my journey and recovery is sharing my story and talking about it. I had gained almost 3 lbs a few weeks ago and I was devastated. I knew I “deserved” the gain based on what I had been eating and my lack of journaling and portion control.  I wasn’t binging . . . I was just being careless if that makes sense.

Last week I lost 2 lbs from that gain but I didn’t think it was significant enough to blog about. Plus as of lately I’ve just been so bored with eating and weight loss stuff. Sometimes I get sick and tired of measuring, weighing, tracking, and eating the same meals. Know what I mean?

BUT, I know that I HAVE to live this way. Truth is, I should be sharing each week’s weigh in whether I like the results or not because that is real life. Real life weight loss is not always just about the losses. Sometimes you are going to gain or sometimes you might just maintain.

Weekly Weigh In

Now, on to the results. So I’m down half a pound from last week which puts me at 225.5 and a total loss of 19.5 lbs!

Weekly Weigh In

I’m so ready to get back to ONEderland once and for all. I always swear that I’ll never leave ONEderland and somehow I find myself back in the 200’s. It makes me cringe to know I weigh over 200 lbs. I think everyone has that “number” that they just can’t go over and for me it’s the 200 lb mark. This has been the slowest weight loss journey of my life! BUT, there is so much more I’ve learned this time around and I really want to share that with you in a separate post.

Life Updates

I’m running my second 5K this Saturday which I’m scared and excited about! Stay connected to my updates about that via Facebook and Instagram

I recently posted about this little black dress I ordered from Fashion to Figure. I absolutely love the quality of their clothes and how they are just made for curves! In the past when I’ve gained weight I haven’t allowed myself to dress up or feel irresistible. If I can tell you anything, please don’t wait to live your life until the weight comes off. You can be irresistible at ANY size!

Fashion to Figure Black Dress

I promise I’ll be back next week with my weekly results! xoxo

“I have made so many mistakes but I have learned a lot and I’m confident to say – he who never made a mistake never made any discovery”
~Bernard Kelvin Clive~

GroopDealz.com

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Hello! I apologize for not posting last week’s weigh in. I took a few days off from work and it was amazing! I had a me day that started with Starbucks, shopping at the outlets, a pedicure, and sushi! Thank goodness I did take this time off because the end of the week was the total opposite as I was out expectantly due to a family emergency. Anywho, I’m back and ready to share my weight loss progress with you. I’ll let this screenshot from my Weight Watchers tracker speak for me . . .

Weekly Weigh In 9.12.14

I’m down almost 20 lbs since the end of April when I finally came face to face with the scale for the first time in months. 20 lbs in 4 months is pretty slow . . . BUT, it’s a steady progression. I literally eat almost anything I want, in moderation. I don’t feel deprived. I don’t feel miserable. I don’t feel like I’m starving. I have my cake and eat it too! When I tell you I LOVE Weight Watchers, I mean it! They do not sponsor me or even know I exist . . . but maybe they should lol.

It is THE best program for me. Yes, I see people that go on these crazy restriction diets and lose 20 lbs in a month. That’s great but for me, it’s not realistic and it’s not long lasting. I can and will do Weight Watchers for the rest of my life.

Enjoy the Journey

I feel like I’m finally coming out of a fog and getting back to myself slowly but surely. I’ve been learning to accept that life is all about taking the good times with the bad times. I’ve always been an all or nothing person and when things are going bad, I would let everything go to shit including my eating and my weight. I now realize that I can’t control outside situations or fix a family member that is ill. The ONLY thing I can do to maintain my sanity in the midst of chaos is control MY actions with food and how I take care of myself.

I Love Fashion!

Let’s be real, everyone says they want to lose weight for health reasons and I totally feel the same way . . .BUT, fashion is a close second! I LOVE it. I recently bought 2 dresses from Fashion to Figure for the first time and I’m in love! They are perfect for my body and totally my style. I’ve never been a fan of plus size stores for various reasons. It’s also the reason I say in my intro that “I’m stuck between a rock hard body and a fat place.” A lot of straight sizes don’t fit me right and plus sizes are sometimes too big for my body but fit only in certain places. Ugh, the struggle is real yall!!!!! This is why I’ve secretly always wanted to design my own line of clothes.

I do have to say that these dresses are cut perfectly for a curvy figure and the quality is great.   I’ll do a post soon if you’re interested in seeing the dresses on me. In the meantime, here’s the pics from the website.

Fashion to Figure Black Dresses

“Take pride in how far you’ve come. Have faith in how far you can go. But don’t forget to enjoy the journey.”
~Michael Josephson~

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This week I’m proud to report I’m down 1.5 lbs! That brings my total loss to 17.7 lbs. Woo Hoo!

Weekly Weigh In Results 8.29.14

I was pleasantly surprised that I lost this week despite my garlic bread binge. I did get in a quite a few workouts though. I’d like to do my measurements next week so see where I’m at with that as I’ve started to notice my clothes fitting better so that’s a good sign!

My next mini-goal is to get down to 225 lbs because that’s the weight I was when I started my journey in 2009 and I’ve gained and lost weight a bunch of times in between. I put on 20 lbs from that starting weight so this first 20 lbs feels like I’m climbing my way out of debt and sometimes it’s a little hard to be excited about the weight loss. I’m extremely grateful for the weight loss but I do struggle with this at times. The past 5 years has been a HUGE learning experience for me and I have more knowledge and awareness about myself that I ever have. I know the things that trigger me and I have better coping skills than I did before.  5 years ago I didn’t even realize I’d been using food as a coping mechanism my entire life. Even though I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained a lot of other things that you can’t see on the outside. I keep meaning to write a bigger post about that and I will.

I’d love to hear how you did this past week. Have a safe and happy Labor Day weekend!

“None of us can change our yesterdays but all of us can change our tomorrows.”
~Colin Powell~

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I thought I might start a new series called “Confessions of a Binge Eater” where I share some embarrassing but real stories about binge eating. For me speaking the truth is what helps in my recovery. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Last weekend we did some crabbing which means crab boil for dinner! I love me a good crab boil in the summer time. It’s easy, it’s fun, and it’s delicious, AND it’s actually healthy!

Crab Broil DIY

I decided to pick up some fresh baked garlic bread from the grocery store to go along with our crab fest. We ended up not making it because we ate so late and quite frankly we didn’t even need it with all that food.

Confessions of a Binge Eater at IrresistibleIcing.com

Monday morning arrived and there was that garlic bread sitting on my counter staring right into my eyes. It was a hefty loaf of fluffy French bread dripped in a buttery garlic spread. By Wednesday evening it was gone. All of it.

Lesson Learned: Don’t ever bring white/garlic/French bread in the house again.

Bread is the new crack and it’s highly addictive to someone like me who struggles with carb addiction. Well I knew this already. I just forgot HOW addictive it can be. I work from home and every single day that bread was around it was literally calling my name from downstairs. As much as I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t. Trust me, salad has NEVER called me back to the kitchen. EVER.

I will say that I did at least calculate the points  (6 PP per slice) and added it to my tracker. I ended up having a piece with each meal Monday through Wednesday and as a snack once or twice. Regardless I devoured an ENTIRE loaf of garlic bread all by myself and that just isn’t ok.  On the bright side it didn’t lead to any other binges and I still did my workouts. I recognize it for what it is, confessed it and I’m moving on. After A Food Binge Tips

Now if I could only get Usher’s song “These are my confessions . . .” out of my head!

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
~George Bernard Shaw~

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I hate running. I always have. If you’ve been following me on Facebook or Instagram you’re probably wondering why the hell I’m about to run my second 5K.  Let’s go back in time for a minute so I can explain. 

The following words used to give me major anxiety . . .

  • Shuttle Run
  • V-Sit
  • Pull Ups
  • Curl Ups
  • THE MILE

Did that bring back any memories? Those are all tests that my classmates and I were publically graded on for the Presidential Physical Fitness Test which started in elementary school.

Each day for a week there would be a different test to complete. I remember on the day of these fitness tests powwowing with the other un-athletic kids (a mix of husky kids, nerdy skinny kids, and kids that just didn’t give a shit about sports) about how we would finagle our way out of them.

  • “Do you think they’ll let me skip if I say I don’t feel good?”
  • “If you hold my knees during the curl ups, I’ll say you did enough to pass.”
  • “I can’t run a mile. I’m walking the whole thing.”
  • “Ok if you walk the whole thing I will too. We’ll stick together”
  • “They can’t do anything about it if we all walk together.”
  • “I can’t do a pull up. Can I just hang there?”

For a fat kid with no athletic abilities this time of year was institutionalized torture. You were forced to complete the tests with the rest of the class watching and silently judging you. Even the gym teacher was judging you as they gave you a look of disgust for not being able to do one pull up while they feverishly wrote down your score on their clipboard. Every single kid no matter their athletic ability was judged against the same BS standards. I quickly learned to equate my lack of fitness with failure and unworthiness.

THE MILE

The most dreaded of all the fitness tests was “THE MILE.” You had to run the entire thing in like 10 minutes or something like that. I was a chunky kid. I hated running. I wasn’t an athlete. I didn’t play sports. I was more interested in things like reading, writing, piano, and horse back riding. I never passed THE MILE.

The kids that didn’t pass THE MILE were called out in front of the entire class and corralled into a separate group to do it again . . . sometimes after class ended. As if public shaming was going to create some magical result that they didn’t get the first time around. The gym teacher would scream and yell at us across the outdoor track to “RUN, NO WALKING ALLOWED!!! LET’S GO! HURRY UP!”

Gym class is our first experience in life with fitness and exercise. My experiences made me loath anything related to physical fitness. It laid the foundation in my mind that I’ll never be able to run or do anything remotely athletic. I wanted nothing to do with a gym or fitness after my school years. In my opinion the Presidential Physical Fitness Test created the opposite effect of what it was intended to do. However, that’s an entirely different post!

Why I’m Doing Another 5K but I Hate Running by IrresistibleIcing.com

So let’s get back to the point of this post. If I hate running so much why torture myself with a 5K?

1. Fitness is Now On My Terms

I still hate running. One of the reasons I’ve always hated running is because of the things that happened in my younger years with the Presidential Fitness tests. It got embedded into my brain years ago that I can’t run fast enough so why bother. That’s what those tests taught me. I was more than capable of running back then.  I gave up before I even tried because I knew I couldn’t do it in under 10 minutes and if you couldn’t do that you weren’t good enough. You were lazy and pathetic. I still can’t run a mile in 10 minutes but it doesn’t matter! I get to exercise and workout on MY terms now.

2. I Need a Challenge

I ran my first 5K in December 2012 and it was the best feeling in the world. It’s a sense of accomplishment that I can’t begin to explain. I decided to do it again this October to challenge myself and keep me accountable to my fitness goals.

3. To Prove Myself Wrong

My first 5K in 2012 was the first time I ran in public since high school. I had convinced myself that I couldn’t run for a number of different reasons. Completing that 5K proved that I CAN run. It proved all those gym teachers wrong. It proved that the Presidential Physical Fitness test is a joke and a completely inaccurate way to judge kids.

To some people 3 miles may be nothing but to me it’s everything and then some. Those 3 miles of running non-stop represent more to me than just winning a medal. It represents doing something I was told I couldn’t do and publically shamed for. Yes I can do it and so can you!

4. For My Inner Fat Kid

I’m doing another 5K for my inner fat kid and all the other fat kids out there that are being shamed by their gym teachers and classmates right now. Running this 5K represents hope for all the kids that are told they HAVE to run a mile in 10 minutes or they aren’t good enough. You can run it, jog it, or walk it and you are still amazing. It doesn’t matter how you finish . . it just matters that you give it your all!

5. Because I Can

Most importantly I’m doing it simply because I can. I have a body that is healthy and I want to use it. I have 2 strong legs with some serious calf muscles that were made for taking me anywhere I want to go. I may not be the fastest or the most athletic but I’m me and I can do this.

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run."
~John Bingham~

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I’m happy to report that I’m down .9 lb this week! That brings my total weight loss to 16.2 lbs.

Weight Watchers Weigh In

The weekends are still a challenge or me. I find myself enjoying food without journaling or tracking. On one hand, I’m obviously still losing weight but it makes me wonder if I could do better if my weekend eating was more consistent. On the other hand I’m a firm believer that you need to LIVE life and enjoy food but without binging and over doing it. I refuse to become a slave to the program and deprive myself. Let’s face it, food is life and life is food! I think it’s about finding the right balance that works for YOU.

Weekly Weigh In - Are you Bored with Food by IrresisibleIcing.com

I also wanted to mention that I’m really bored with food right now. I hate grocery shopping and cooking so I tend to eat the same meals every day/week. That’s why I cook meals like this that are quick and easy. As of lately nothing and I mean nothing sounds appetizing. I need to incorporate some new meals into my routine because this sucks! Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?

inspirational_weight_loss_quotes

Anyways. Thanks for sticking with me on this LONG journey. I was talking to my husband last night about how it’s kind of hard for me to be excited about this weight loss because it’s not the first time I’ve lost these same pounds. I’ve lost and gained so many times the past few years that it’s exhausting. I know now that I HAVE to always do a program like Weight Watchers to stay accountable and in control. I get that now. I also have seen so many changes in myself that aren’t visible. I’m going to put a post together soon to talk about the changes you don’t always see during weight loss.

Until next time . . . stay irresistible!

“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.”
~Josh Billings~

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